Giving up is not my nature, not in the least, but lately, I almost feel and think that if I give You up I won’t feel as if i’m really the main one pursuing something greater and deeper, which is a crucial part to my potential and partial opposition, anger, and hurt. (simultaneously knowing You aren’t and cannot be all the cause) I really want to leave it up to You to come after me, to see if it happens, to see what I truly mean to You. I’m afraid of You not coming after me, and I think i’d be immensely wounded, as I am even now. But letting that part go is excruciating and onerous. I want to see what lengths You’d go to, to get me to be Yours. All the while I know I have failed in numerous ways and still fail, but I always felt that I try my absolute best, and want the absolute best. I am weak, frail, and calloused, but I try to never let that hinder me from You and exceeding my limits. I will continue onward and push past my struggles of hurts, feelings, thoughts and understanding for this, because nothing is as precious to me than You.